Just a little note to my blogger friends,
I just wanted to say Happy Turkey Day (a little late i know) and Merry Christmas.
I don't feel very merry this year, but don't let that bother you. I got a lot going on right now, and don't see it coming to an end anytime before next summer.
I wish each of you and all of yours a happy Christmas filled with the ones you love.
Fall is in the air...Footballs rivalries are at their peak....(Go Blue)
Camping season is still in full swing, as I am a firm believer that the best time to camp is AFTER Labor Day.
We had a good summer this year.
Started in April with a visit to my friend Joan from Retirement Chronicles, and then a stop at my friend Cathy from Yooper Yarns,
Here we are again, at the end of summer...
May kicked off camping with our first stop at Brighton Rec,
June was Dale's mom graduation from college, camping at Pinckney Rec, and Balloonfest.
July was the parade in Cohoctah, (only parade you get to see twice...lol), camping at Brighton again.
August flew fast as we had some family stuff going on. The highlight of my summer was spending a long weekend with my bestie at Mecosta, Mi...We went to the Buckley Steam Engine show, and fished, and played cards, and hung out...came home, on a Monday, and Thursday, I left my husband and son and went back up and spent a girls weekend with bestie and her sister...it was so nice and relaxing to not have to worry about the kid and hubby, not be responsible for anyone but myself....we visited Amish Country by Big Rapids and got some Honey, Jam, Strawberries, Green Peppers, and enjoyed stepping back from the fast lane and enjoying the slower pace of life.
My 16 in Largemouth Bass pulled out of Lake Mecosta!
Now it's Labor Day weekend, and we have a couple of weekends left to camp, Hubby got a new job, so camping will be fewer and further between, but we are looking forward to moving and being closer to the Upper Peninsula, (we have a destination in mind, but aren't sharing at the moment)...
My Great Aunt and I had a conversation the other day, and she told me I was just like my Nonna, it broke Nonna's heart to leave Up North, and that if that was where my heart was, it was okay to go. Dale and I believe our hearts are up north, be it the U.P. or at least the northern part of the Lower Peninsula, we know it will not be easy to "make it" in the north, but that's where "home" is, so that's where we will go....
Life isn't the greatest right now....we just found out that my Grama is quite a bit worse off than we thought. Very little of her heart is working. I remember a similar situation a few years ago. I hoped to never go through it again.
That's not going to happen....not the losing my Grama, that's inevitable.
But the part of having to sit there and watch, helplessly, waiting, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and her not be there any more. It's hard to be a caregiver, it's hard to have the medical training that allows you to know what is happening by the signs that the body physically gives.
It's hard to sit here on the couch and suddenly realize she isn't snoring anymore, "OH SHIT, is she okay?" and she is....but I know that the reality is, that it's possible one time she won't be. Or I will go to get her up, and she'll be gone...Gone to see my Grampa...I'm sure she is looking forward to it...she's lived a good life, and deserves peace.
Grama: I want you to know, I will always love you. Always miss you! I won't be able to watch the Golden Girls without thinking of you. "Thank you for being a friend" will bring tears to my eyes. Thank You for loving me, for caring about me, for teaching me all those things that only Grama's can teach. Thank you for sharing your beloved tea cups with your cherished granddaughters. I will never drink a cup of tea that tastes as good as the ones that Grama made. I will always remember the time we spent together. I will always remember how I almost ruined my 16th birthday party because I told my mom I didn't want to go to your house for the night, because I was being a typical teenager. Thank you Grama, for life. For what you taught, for what you showed, for what you lived.
Now it's time for me to stop showing my feelings. I must. For her sake. So that she doesn't feel bad about leaving us.
I have to take off my hat of grand daughter and put on my CNA/Nurse/caregiver hat. It no longer matters how I feel. It's all about her. She deserves my unselfish care. After all, wasn't it only a few years ago, that she gave it to me?
This is a picture of myself, my cousin Welcome, and my Grandparents, when Welcome and I were probably 4 and 6 respectively....